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Drowning in Memories

Posted on Tue May 2nd, 2017 @ 9:53am by Lieutenant JG Julian Winterstorm & Lieutenant Lixor Nabohn

Mission: Dream Catcher
Location: Main lounge deck 3
Timeline: Current


Sitting alone in a booth in the back where he could see who came in the lounge Lixor sat nursing is second Bajoran ale His eyes weren't on the door though, they were staring out into the vastness of the space outside the viewing window. The blue man's countenance was placid though the pain of losing M'Gann glazed over his dark eyes.

Lixor was wearing a black mock turtleneck with the sleeves pushed up nearly to his elbows and black slacks befitting his dark mood. For a moment his eyes dropped to his drink and then he lifted the glass to down the amber contents.

Julian, just wanted to unwind. Having lost his assistant had meant most of the paperwork and reports, neither of which were his strong suit. He had, had to do everything himself that day. He had stopped by his cabin to find that Taylor was still working. So he'd change out of his uniform and into, a pair of black chinos and a khaki, long-sleeved, crew neck sweater.

He walked into the lounge and got himself a glass of White Merlo. Glancing around the room he spotted a familiar if forlorn face. Walking over to the other man's table he said, "Uh, sorry to tell you this, but you look like crap. Mind if I ask what's wrong?"

Lixor glanced up at the man and shook his head, "Just wallowing in self-pity," he answered. He offered a faint smile, "have a seat Lieutenant just make sure I don't drink you under the table."

"You, drink me, under the table?" the Akadian responded with a smirk, "we'll see about that."

He sat down and took a long sip from his drink. So, why the pity-party?"

Lixor drew in a deep breath and he studied the man then began his answer, "because my girl just left me to go chase ghosts."

"Wow, that really is tough. I know how I would feel if Taylor left. How are you making out?"

"Making out," Lixor replied leaning forward, "falling apart is more like it." He shook his head, "I feel like I did when my mother was..." He stopped himself and drew in a breath before continuing, "I'm actually thinking of resigning my commission."

"Whoa," Julian said putting a hand on the other man's shoulder. that is an awfully big step. Is that something you're giving serious consideration to?

The half Bolion nodded affirmatively and he drew in a breath, "I have." He looked away and then back at the other man, "but I don't like my prospects if I do."

Julian took a sip of his drink before replying, "I take it you really loved her?"

Lixor furrowed his brow and nodded, "At least that's what I think it was." He sighed, "don't have much experience in the emotional things and I suppose that's what's going on."

"Well if it helps, I'm a pretty good listener. You can talk to me about it."

The science officer nodded letting out a sigh, "Not used to that either, talking about things. I pretty much have had to deal with things on my own but I'm getting soft Julian and is scares me."

"Why do you think you're getting soft, just because you're showing some emotion?"

Lixor tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, "you don't know my past do you?"

"No, I don't. Do you want to tell me about it?"

Lixor drew in a deep breath and set back, "have you heard of the Baldaron IV colony?"

"I'm pretty new to Starfleet. Enlighten me."

"It was the failed colony I grew up in," Lixor replied. He drew in a breath, "I was seventeen and a gang leader when the Federation finally showed up to clean things up."

Julian leaned in closer, but not so close that he would invade Lixor's personal space, "that sounds horrific."

Lixor nodded solemnly and drew in a breath, "this is triggering all those survival impulses, trust no one, close down all emotions, don't let anyone close, think only of yourself, survive." He looked down for a moment, "I wasn't a nice person Julian, not at all, and if I can't get this back in control I might as well figure out how to get to the alternate universe where I would fit in."

"Have you thought of seeing a counselor, I'm not a big fan, but they can be helpful sometimes, and as fun as going on a bender is, it might be more healthy too."

"I have," Lixor said with a nod. He drew in a breath, "do you think Lizzy would be a good choice to discuss this with?"

"I think she would. that's not to say I don't want to talk to you, as a friend, but you might need someone a bit more skilled than I am."

The blue man nodded at his friend and drew in a deep breath, "then I better set up an appointment before she hauls me up from science."

"Yeah, you better do that, you never know what she might do to you if she has to come looking for you."

"I don't need her walking in naked into my labs and pulling me out by my ear in front of the other science personnel," Lixor replied with a sigh, "besides I may be able to keep this off my permanent record if I am proactive enough, that is if I decide to stay."

"That would be somewhat embarrassing, I ll bet. I'm not going to advise to stay or leave, that is your decision to make and no one else's but, you are a good officer. I would not want to lose you."

"Thank's Julian," Loxor said drawing in a breath and sitting all the way back, "I appreciate that." He dropped his gaze for a moment and then raised his eyes again, "do relationships always hurt so much?"

"I hope not," the Akadian replied, I've had a broken heat before, it hurts. But Taylor and I love each other. It's not perfect, we argue and fight like any couple. But, we trust each other which is saying a lot, at least on his part, because my people tend to be polyamorous and I have to fight that. But we wouldn't hurt each other, not on purpose anyway.

But, yeah, if he were to go off like that, I don't know what I'd do."

Lixor took in a deep breath, "growing up you didn't have relationships, you would enjoy someone's company but you didn't get attached. This whole relationship thing is new to me." He chuckled trying to act as if he wasn't so deeply wounded, "we were plenty amorous, it was a form of entertainment. The gang was the family but even there you kept them at arms length."

"I'm pretty sure your childhood was a lot harder than mine, but relationships are a kind of new to me too. Sex, well sex, I'm very good at, but relationships are hard."

"I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one," Lixor replied pressing his lips together, "and apparently there is life after this. I hope Lizzy can help then.

"I hope so too. Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you come to dinner sometime this week, it will help keep your mind off of things, and I'm sure Taylor wouldn't mind. What's your favorite thing to eat?"

It didn't take long for Lixor to reply though he hesitated, "Ratamba stew," he said finally. He chuckled, "It was so good when I stole the rations from a supply ship, I order it off he replicator quite often."

"Well, I have good news and bad news for you then. The good news is I don't use a replicator, I'll fix you the homemade variety. The bad news is that I haven't heard of it and will have to come up with a recipe, unless you have one."

Lixor nodded, "I can tell you it's Bajoran but I honestly don't know what is actually in it." He chuckled a little, "suppose I should find out myself."

"I'll look it up then, but if you find something on it first, let me know."

The blue man nodded, "I'll do that." He drew in a deep breath and let a faint smile come to his face, "and thanks for explaining things to me a little."

"You're welcome. We'll see you soon."


Lieutenant Lixor Nabohn
Chief Science Officer
U.S.S. Gladiator-A

Lieutenat (JG) Julian Winterstorm
Chief Security Officer
U.S.S. Gladiator A


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