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A different direction

Posted on Wed Apr 9th, 2014 @ 7:33pm by Commander Mercia Kavi

Mission: Shoreleave: Kaslau - Submission
Location: Kavis office

Mercia put her hand under her chin and blew out a breath, aimed at the lock of hair that had fallen out of the bun she'd wrapped it in earlier. She looked at her desk, finally clear of pads. It had taken her forever, but she finally caught up with her paperwork. She felt accomplished. Certainly it had been a long month, and there had been a lot of difficulties, but at the same time, she was learning, and learning a lot.

Being an Executive Officer was hard work, there was so much to keep track of, and at moments it felt completely overwhelming, but there was no way she was going to let David down. Nor Grayson. Mercia managed to get things done and still take enough time off to wear her body out with some holo adventures, training, and a couple of evenings alone with David. She smiled, thinking of that, it had been as much as an adventure the holo adventures she did. She enjoyed the ease that he talked to her now, she felt freer to ask questions, and trust he would honestly answer. He still played mind games with her, but she actually liked it, he kept her on her toes.

Leaning back in her chair and picked up the tactical knife from her desk. She had a sheath for it against her hip, but she'd taken it out while she was sitting here. She ran her fingers over the tribal markings on both sides of the blade, she needed to ask him what they meant, in fact she was curious what his tattoos meant. Biting her inner lip she considered for a brief moment how much she liked his markings. She'd never really been so curious about someone in this way, it was new to her, and exciting. It wasn't that she'd never had a boyfriend before, but she had always been the one in full control. Not that she always dominated the guy, but she had a reason for picking him, and she picked someone who worked over time to please her, because she had no problems just dropping him in a second if he didn't. This was different.

She sighed, why did Lyla always have to be right? Eventually jumping from guy to guy began to be unsatisfying. She started to feel that she wanted to be known. Her friends were only Grayson and Lyla, with a few acquaintances along the way, friends were nice, but they came and went, and it wasn't enough. While on earth she had been trying to sooth her hurts.



USS Houlton, 6 months ago

The scream came from her gut, ear shattering, and gut wrenching, the pain was unbareable. But that was the pain of a five year old who watched her mother and master be beaten to death. A hand grabbed her, while another clamped over her mouth. Panic filled Mercia and she twisted, kneeing her attacker between the legs, instinct taking over. She was in bed with someone, but fear was driving her, and she had little control. She heard his grunt as she punched him in the jaw, a knife was in her hands and she pressed it to his throat before her eyes came in to focus. She panted as she saw an angry, but familiar face below her. She hesitated making a kill move and that was enough for him to throw her off of him on to the floor.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BITCH?” the voice roared.

The fight instinct was for a moment broken and the flight took over, sending her to a hiding place, a place of security, a dark hole like the one she hid in while she mothers life was being beaten away.

Mercia cowered under the desk, tears in her eyes, fighting to regain control, her nightmare had been intense. She’d not had one in nearly a year, and she thought she was finally over them. At least she was plagued with them every night like she used to be. Even still, she was shaking and breathing hard, trying to regain control and a sense of safety.

Her sense of safety was shattered when a hand reached in to her hiding place and gripped her arm, hauling her out. Landon Geddard glared at her, his lip was split and he looked angry. Mercia had attacked him when he tried to shake her from her screams in her sleep.

She managed to control herself and not go after him for taking her out of her hiding hole, but she breathed harder, her eyes wide, and she felt as tense as a someone could. “Let me go Landon.” She shook.

“Not until you explained why the hell you attacked me!” Landon shook her a little. His strong hands hurt her arms, and that was enough.

Waving her arms in an arch she broke his grip and shoved him back, tripping him over a chair on to the floor behind it. “I said let go!” she yelled. She was coiled, ready to attack but she held back. Landon was her boyfriend!

The man pulled himself up and stalked up to her, blood on his lip, and a fire in his eyes. “You are one insane little wench aren’t you?” he demanded. “You know I thought you’d be fun in the bedroom, but I didn’t sign up for this!” he wiped his mouth and showed her the blood on his lip. “I should repay that.”

“I’m sorry…” she tried, struggling to control herself.

“Sorry aint good enough!” he growled.

Mercia felt her jaw tighten with anger. “I warned you I sometimes have night terrors, and you know how difficult it was to tell you that… and about my mother…” she stammered. She had tried to be vulnerable, to open up to a guy she really liked and who liked her.

“Night terrors don’t equal me almost getting killed because you’re a damn psycho.” Landon growled.

“You don’t understand.” Mercia gasped almost trembling with her fight to control herself.

“No you don’t understand, I’ve been putting up with your childish antics long enough Mercia, your whining and excuses. I can’t do it anymore, your body isn’t good enough to make up for you being a psycho!” he said. “Your mothers dead, get over it or get the hell out!” he said poking her in the chest.

Mercia had enough, she knocked him in the jaw hard enough to knock him cold. He fell to the floor like a rag doll. Trembling, hurt and pissed she gathered up her clothes, pulled them on and stormed out completely broken hearted.




That night had been important. The six months she had invested in dating Landon, and never spending the whole night with him, until that night. His true colors had shown, and he retaliated. She ended up in the brig, considering he was her XO and she was a junior officer. He made her life miserable, and she couldn’t do any thing about it, because he was careful how he did it. When he became captain the first thing he did was drop her at the nearest federation presence he could find, and did every thing he could to ensure no good captain would agree to take her on.

Mercia would be lying if she said that she still wasn’t hurt by it all. She had tried to have a real relationship with Landon, but she realized that their relationship has still never gone beyond the physical. He didn’t invest in her, he just took from her, but then that’s what she’d asked for right? She never pushed to know him, and he never really cared to know anything about her, not really.

She laid Davids knife on her desk and stared at it intently, considering what had happened in her past and how different things were this time. Her time on earth after getting kicked off the Houlton had been spent in either study, or trying to sooth her wounds with mindless and random parties and fun. She used physical enjoyment to sooth herself, but it wasn’t satisfying, it wasn’t what she truly craved.

Then she met Hawkins. This was so different, he witnessed a nightmare, and when she attacked him he didn’t retaliate. He didn’t try and drag her away from safety. He sat down on the floor and talked to her when she was ready to come out. He backed her up when she was attacked; he encouraged her, and gave her a place to learn, a new and stressful job, in safety. He liked her, and he shared in physical enjoyment with her. This was a taste of what it SHOULD be like, and it was only encouraging her to want to continue it… to impress him and not really mess this up.

She leaned forward and looked at the knife again smiling, him telling her to hang on to h is favorite knife, that had been a gift to him felt very significant and the excitement of the newness of it all was making her a little antsy, and now that she had finished her pile of work, she was free to take the rest of the day and visit Kaslau. She’d looked things up already and knew where she wanted to go.

Mercia stood up and tucked the knife in the sheath and headed to her room to change. She wanted to check out a nature preserve, and see if it was all it was cracked up to be. If she liked it, she was tickled by the idea of asking David to come down and see the sunset with her later that evening. Surely he could tear himself away just for an hour? She wasn’t sure though, if he would see it as an inconvience, and agree to please her, or would he actually want to go? Would he even agree? She didn’t know, but she was going to work herself up if she didn’t get moving.

She’d scout it out first, and decide later if she would ask him or not. She wondered why she felt nervous about asking him, normally she was so bold. But then she had never asked someone to do something like this before. This was something she saw in movies and holo novels and in books... the idea was in her mind, and she decided to try. Hopefully, this would turn out to being a good hike, and later, a better evening.



tbc...

 

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